


With Love, From...

by Akan_Abrun



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cyberdating, Fluff, Internet Dating, M/M, Pen Pals, pen pal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-06-03 10:42:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6607702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akan_Abrun/pseuds/Akan_Abrun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To get Leonard out into the world(s) and cure his loneliness, Jim set him up on a pen-pal styled dating website. Then he got the idea that hey, maybe Spock could use that website too! (Jim also set up an account for himself, too, but that's not altogether important... unless you want it to be. Who could we ship Jim with?)</p><p>On Leonard's end, he meets someone on the website that he starts to trust and depend on, and gets in way too deep before he can help it.<br/>At the same time, Spock meets someone on the website who's very intriguing, and finds himself constantly wanting to talk to that person.<br/>What will happen when, after 2000 messages, the website reveals their real names to each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by several cliché pen-pal type stories, but nonetheless my own.

In an attempt to get Bones out into the world, Jim set him up on a little, non-invasive website where people with similar interests chatted it up over the web. It was almost like having a pen pal- only with a less platonic theme (the website was made to find romance). Jim knew of several people back in the Academy who used platforms like that for their dating (and anonymous one night stands), so he'd heard some good things about it. It was the perfect thing for a grouchy, divorced man who really only cared about his work. 

But then... speaking of grouchy, divorced men who only cared about work, Jim had the thought one night lounging in his ready room that he knew a specific Commanding Officer that was probably in need of a companion. It seemed to help with Bones- in two weeks his profile got over two hundred views and he had gotten too many messages to know what to do with. Who knew a human doctor with boring interests could have so much appeal? 

Anyway, Jim decided that he'd have to set Spock up on that website too. Who knew? Maybe there'd be a lot of lonely Vulcan women on there, and Spock would meet the perfect bondmate. He already rejected Jim's requests for a relationship/sexual interaction, and who could be more perfect than the captain? Certainly nobody on the ship! And with the dwindling Vulcan population, the pickings were slim if Spock wanted one of his own kind. Jim needed to act fast. 

He stood from the desk, putting his work materials away in an organized manner, and left his ready room. Spock would be heading to his quarters by now for his alone time before dinner. The man always valued his alone time after being around the others on the Bridge all day, but damn it, Jim needed him NOW! 

He chimed the door to Spock's quarters, and entered before the Vulcan gave permission. "Spock, it is absolutely necessary that you-" Jim stopped when he saw Spock meditating, and hesitated to continue. 

"Yes, Captain?" Spock said, opening his eyes and looking at Jim emotionlessly. 

"Uh," Jim hesitated. "Is this a good time? I know meditating for you is pretty important." He really wanted to get Spock in on the site, but he wasn't a complete ass; he'd let Spock meditate if he needed to. 

"I would not consider it a 'good' time, however I am now unoccupied if you are in need of my services." Spock said, standing up, and Jim couldn't help but feel a bit bad that he'd interrupted him like that. But then he remembered the task at hand. 

"Great! I'm going to set you up on a... website." Jim said, bouncing over to the computer and sitting on the chair. 

"What sort of website, and why must you do it?" Spock asked, coming up to stand beside him and leaning down to watch his actions. Jim typed in the address and started creating a new profile. 

"It's a website for..." Jim hesitated. He couldn't come out and tell him that he was setting him up on a dating site! He'd definitely refuse. "Have you heard of pen pals, Spock?" 

"I am familiar with the term. An old Earth custom to maintain friendships from a distance." Spock answered, and Jim nodded, filling out several boxes. Just basic things so far, like name, age, occupation, and the sort. 

"Right. Well this is a website for exactly that. People with similar interests message you, and you can message them back if you want. You pretty much just... talk." Jim explained, and Spock looked like he was going to object, so he said quickly, "It's the only way for you to meet new people and to gain new relationships and experiences while on the ship. Sure there are more than four hundred people here, but people from all different worlds use this website!

"Look, it's non-invasive, and you don't actually have to physically interact with anyone. If they're rude or you don't like them, you can just cut them off easily." Jim was near pleading with the man now. But really, why did he want to get Spock on there so much? Maybe it was a way to cope with being rejected. If Spock would focus on other people, so could Jim. Even thought he was already past his feelings for the Vulcan, he still wanted them both to find someone nice. Maybe he'd set up his own account as well...

"It does sound logical..." Spock considered, and he seemed to be thinking it over. Jim nodded avidly. 

"Most logical! Now, all I'm gonna do is ask you some easy questions, and I'll help you fill out your profile." 

"I am capable of doing such a thing by myself." Spock countered, and Jim made a scoffing noise. 

"No! Nobody would want to message you if you said 'I am occupied with my lab work for 14.98% of the day' and all that crap. No offense, Spock, but that would seem a little too..." Jim trailed off, not wanting to offend. 

"Inhuman." Spock supplied, and Jim half-shrugged, half-nodded. "Captain-"

"It's Jim while off duty, Spock." Jim interrupted, and turned back to the computer. "Now, what are your most basic interests? We'll deal with the vague things first before going specific." 

And so went the process of getting Spock up on the website, and Jim's bonding time with him as well. He found it healthy to hang out with Spock outside of work, and this would suffice for the day. He usually made the man eat dinner with him in the mess, or play chess in one of their quarters. However, after an hour of chirping at one another about what was good to put on the profile and what wasn't, Spock had a shiny page- it was like an application that he was handing in to the abyss of space. 

After they were all finished with it, Jim skipped his evening meal to make his own profile on the site. He set up his profile with his honest self- not his picturesque, cocky mask that he usually put on when he wanted to impress people. Sure he still didn't hide that he was a confident, promiscuous man who was sometimes a jerk. Hiding that would be more fake than the mask. 

After he was finished making his profile, Jim looked at the Recommended tab. The website had already matched him up with several people who had very similar interests. He scanned through the people for a few minutes before he found one person who seemed interesting. They lived on the planet Varius, and they were a geoscientist. Sounded interesting... and they were both into pretty much the same things. He clicked the Message option, and a notice popped up. 

"Hello All!  
Due to some privacy issues, we have updated the website so that real names will no longer be immediately visible among users. When first messaging someone, it is highly suggested that you use an alias, or a name other than your own. A new prompt has been added when first choosing the Message option, requesting that you enter a different name for that person. You may later choose to reveal your real name to that person, or it will automatically be revealed after 2000 shared messages.  
Thank you all for your feedback, as we are always working to improve the website for everyone!" 

Seemed clear enough. Jim clicked away the notification, and sure enough, a box came up requesting a nickname. He really didn't see a reason to be very far off from his real name. He snorted as he typed in "JimmyT" for the name and entered it. The message box opened up, and he typed up a nice little greeting, asking if it'd be okay if they talked. 

This would be very interesting.


	2. First Contact

Leonard logged onto his profile, having not gone on it in several days. He heard a couple weeks ago that Jim made himself an account too, damn sap. As far as Leonard was concerned, nothing was ever really genuine if it wasn't in person. But if it got Jim off his back, then he'd use the damned website. 

He scrolled through his received messages, trying to find some decency from them. Most of them had nice, formal greetings, but then their About Me would say something like "I'm just a quiet woman looking for love during these troubling times" and all that crap. Leonard was nobody's teddy bear. 

Then he came across one message in particular, that sounded unlike any of the others. The person had their nickname as I-Chaya... whatever that meant. Reading through the message, though, it clearly stood out. This person spoke nothing of love or loneliness, just about how they'd like to 'engage in conversation' with him because the descriptions on his profile were 'quite interesting.' Leonard didn't know whether he should feel grateful or offended. 

So, naturally, he actually answered back. He answered that yes, conversation would be nice, and it would be a pleasure to talk to them. After all, it was about time that he actually messaged someone back. So far he'd ignored everyone, since they all seemed like... oh, what was the old earth word? It started with MIL, he knew that much. Such lingo was almost lost by the time of First Contact. 

He got off his computer, and went to the mess for some much needed food. He got himself a hearty beef sandwich, and maneuvered around the crowds over to where Jim and Spock were sitting. He plopped down next to Jim and started listening in on their conversation. 

"I didn't mean to set him in the rosters back to back, though, it was all in a randomized order. I don't even know where I'M at!" Jim complained, and Leonard ate his sandwich in silence. Best to sit back and watch this one. 

"It is illogical to continue to dwell on it, Captain-"

"Jim!" Jim interjected, and Leonard rolled his eyes. 

"Jim. You have already rearranged his positions on the rosters, so why must you still be fretting?" Spock asked, and Jim frowned at him. 

"I'm not the one 'fretting'- it's Hanson that's still mad at me about it. He thinks I have something against him because we slept together at the Academy once." Jim grumbled, twirling his fork in his spaghetti. 

"In that case, wouldn't his feelings for you be more positive?" Spock asked, and Leonard snorted. Did all Vulcans sound so terribly innocent? 

"It's not always like that, Spock. Bones, you remember Hanson?" Jim turned to Leonard now, making him put down his sandwich. He shrugged as he took a drink of water. 

"It's possible. Living with someone like you, one tends to try to forget what he sees during the night." Leonard said with a smirk, and Jim made a face at him. 

"Sorry I asked. Anyway, Spock's right. Forgive and forget!" Jim said, raising his glass of orange juice. Leonard raised his water, clinked their cups together, and they drank. Spock watched the interaction with a quirked eyebrow. Leonard couldn't help but feel constantly judged by the Vulcan. It was really annoying. 

"So what'll you do now?" Leonard asked, and Jim grinned at him. 

"Oh I'm still going to confront him about it." He said, and Leonard shook his head. Typical James Kirk. 

"Is confronting him in such a way wise, Jim?" Spock asked, striking at Leonard's nerves. 

"Can't the man do what he wants? He's a grown up. He can handle himself." He retorted, causing Spock to look over at him. The only blemish in his expressionless face being a slightly raised eyebrow. 

"Doctor, it would be illogical of the Captain to seek out possible danger." Spock said calmly, and Leonard had trouble holding in a sigh. 

"Jim talking to some guy he used to have relationships can't end that badly. If one or both of them ends up in my Sickbay, then fine. It'll be a learning experience for them." He said, and Jim nodded. 

"See, Spock? Bones is on my side. It'll be fine. I'll invite him to Ten Forward or something so that we can discuss it in a civilized manner." Jim added, and it was Leonard's time to nod. Spock was silent after that, so they all just continued to eat their meals. 

\---

When Leonard got back to his quarters, he dressed into his sleeping clothes and brushed his teeth. He spent some time looking in the mirror at himself. His hair was only slightly out of place from the day's work, and his everlasting paleness and bags under his eyes plagued him. If it wasn't so damn bad for the skin, he'd probably try to make use of the tanning services on the ship. They didn't catalyze cancer anymore, but they really messed up the complexion after several uses. In any case, he sure looked tired.

He looked over at his computer. Maybe talking to people without appearances involved would be a good thing. People were usually shocked about how much of an old grouch he was after looking at his face first. He didn't mean to gloat, but he'd heard from many people that he was quite handsome. It was possible that showing his personality before his face would be a better foundation for a relationship...

On the other hand, what if he got really close to someone, and they turned out to look like the spawn of Cthulhu? Leonard'd probably kindly refuse to get into a relationship with them, and try to make up an excuse other than their unsatisfactory appearance. He didn't mean to be an ass about it, he just didn't want to be with someone who was... well... not fun to look at. 

There was also another factor that he thought of while he sat down at his desk. He drummed his fingers lightly against the surface of it. What if the person he got close to so happened to be a guy? He wasn't too old fashioned- he didn't quite gag at the idea of two people of the same gender macking on each other. But he'd never really been with a guy either. Jim had tried to rub up on him one time while they lived at the Academy together, but Leonard made it quite clear that he was not interested. But if he got really, really close to someone and they turned out to be a guy... eh, he'd cross that bridge if he'd ever get there. 

He got onto the website and among the few new messages, he found a reply from that I-Chaya person. 

"Meonatio,-"

Leonard had to snort inaudibly to himself at his unoriginal nickname. M for McCoy, eon for Leonard, atio for Horatio (his middle name). He really should've chosen something more creative, but it was the first thing he typed in when prompted for a nickname, so he went with it. Anyway, the message. 

"Meonatio, 

I am pleased to know that you are amenable to engaging in conversation with me. It is my understanding that most people that message me are desiring things much more inappropriate than pleasant conversation. It is relieving to know that you, at least, are not one of those inappropriate individuals. 

We may discuss whatever you wish, as long as it is within the parameters of both of our boundaries. 

I-Chaya"

Leonard ran his tongue over his bottom lip in thought. Did this person NOT know that this was a dating site? They seemed somewhat baffled, if not distressed, about people wanting intimate relations with them. He frowned as he concentrated on the reply. 

"I-Chaya,

It's certainly my pleasure to be messaging you. I, too, have been getting a lot of intimate messages. Yours is actually the only message that I've actually responded to because of that. 

Anyway, you seemed kind of passive about the topics of our conversations. Is there a reason for that? Or am I wrong? 

Meonatio"

Leonard sighed and looked at the time. He usually didn't go to sleep for another twenty minutes. But a few extra minutes couldn't help, right? He stretched in his chair and was just about to get up when a message appeared on his screen, making him jump. A reply already? Damn. 

"Meonatio,

I apologize for seeming passive in my previous message. If I may be honest, the friend that encouraged me to use this website had also offered me a plethora of advice on talking to others. He merely explained that I shouldn't be too forward, and that I must try to seem more kind than I usually am. My suggestion that you lead our conversations was an attempt to follow that advice. Is that unsatisfactory?

I-Chaya"

At that, Leonard glared at the screen. So this person was being... fake. For the sake of a friend. That's always been the worst idea in all of human history- and probably the history of other species as well. 

"I-Chaya,

Let's get one thing straight: You don't gotta be anyone but yourself when talking to me. But I get it. My friend set me up on here too, and he told me not to be a grouch the whole time. That's just how I am, though. So let's make a deal. We just be ourselves when talking to each other, and if something about that bothers either of us, we'll just be honest and work it out. That sound good? 

And to introduce another topic- what exactly are you using this site for?

Meonatio"

He got up from his chair and got himself some cold water. If he was going to keep messaging this person, he'd probably at least get some water to keep himself chipper enough to reply with full coherence. He took several large gulps of water, ignoring how the cold hurt his head. Sitting back down at the desk, he waited for a reply. When it came, he read it immediately. 

"Meonatio,

I agree that it would be the best course of action to only act as our usual selves when conversing. It is good that you suggested it. 

It is my intention to use this website in order to establish friendships with other people. The friend that referred me to this website suggested that it be best to make friendships here, since I do not typically tend to seek out company in my daily life. 

May I return your question back to you? What are your intentions for using this website?

I-Chaya" 

Leonard shrugged to himself. Reasonable. So they were both unsociable weirdos who had very little real friends. Seemed fair enough. 

He typed up a reply, and they continued to talk for about another hour before Leonard fell asleep at his desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I write it, I pronounce Meonatio like "men-EY-shee-oh," but obviously you can pronounce it however you want.   
> Anybody know what I-Chaya means? ;)


	3. Who is I-Chaya?

Leonard was updating diet cards for several of the crew members when Jim commed him and asked if he wanted to eat lunch with him in the mess. He looked at the time, and shifted in his seat. He'd get a few more cards finished before heading out. Maybe he'd alter Jim's a little, too. The man hadn't been keeping up with his health lately, so maybe Leonard would give him a little wake up call. 

After he finished, he slid out of his chair and walked out of sickbay, waving at Christine Chapel on the way. She waved back with a pretty smile. The woman really was gorgeous. Leonard often thought about asking her to dinner, but it felt quite unprofessional since they worked so close together. Still... 

He shook his head, continuing towards the mess. Beginning intimacies were for another day... or so he's been telling himself for the past few years. He entered the mess and avoided the small crowds of people as he got his food from a replicator. He got himself some fish with a side of salad and lemon slices. 

As soon as he turned to find Jim, he was met with the blond's icy glare. He smirked and set course over to the table. As soon as he sat down with his food, Jim started complaining. "What, are you trying to call me fat?!" He gestured to his half-eaten salad, and Leonard snorted. 

"No, I'm insinuating that you need to start taking better care of yourself. Try to set out more for time sparring in the gym, alright? Just like you used to." Leonard said, and Jim huffed and stabbed at his leafy meal. 

"How about you come with me, and we'll spar together?" Jim asked, and Leonard gave him a skeptical look. "Hey, you'll get to oversee me exercising, and we can both work on our self-defense. It'd be great. We haven't hung out in a long time, Bones." 

"I suppose I could spare a couple of my afternoons..." Leonard replied quietly, finally tucking into his fish. It was good. Nothing beat a nice grilled fillet of replicated salmon. 

"Great! Then after we spar a few times, maybe you could just switch my diet card back to how it was. Right?" Jim asked, high with spirit now, shoving some spinach into his mouth. Leonard grunted a noncommittal noise back at him. "Oh, how's that one dating website going? You find any good pen pals yet?" 

"Yeah, a couple." Leonard said after he was done chewing on a bite of fish. In reality, he had only been talking to one pen pal. The same I-Chaya that he had met weeks ago. He opened his mouth to turn the question back to Jim, but the blond spoke first. 

"What kinda stuff do you talk about? Has it gotten personal yet? Dating anyone yet?" Jim asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Leonard glared at him and took a long drink of water before granting an answer, which made Jim look at him even more expectantly. 

"... No. No dating yet-"

"YET?!" Jim yelled, making several people look over. Leonard apologized to the nearest table of people before turning back to the eager man.

"And by that, I meant: no, not at all." Leonard corrected, still glaring. "No dating. Not even close. Most of our conversations so far have been quite superficial... Actually, I'm pretty sure that superficial conversations are all that they can really handle. Every time anything gets deep, they kind of... just..."

"Shut down?" Jim supplied, and Leonard nodded. "Yep. Spock's the same exact way. I'll be talking to him about all sorts of things, but as soon as I try to talk about something emotional or from the past or highly philosophical, he just... either ignores me or changes the subject. Bastard." 

"Yeah, well, Spock's a computer. I doubt he's even capable of processing a conversation about emotions." Leonard grumbled. "My pen pal's not quite like that, though. They can be pretty philosophical at times, and sometimes they talk about how they feel about things. It's just once in a blue moon, though." 

"Why do you keep saying 'they'? You guys haven't said your genders or anything yet?" Jim asked, grimacing. "What if it's a guy? I know you're not really into dudes. Me included." Leonard gave him The Look.

"I turned you down because you're my friend, and way too promiscuous for me. Seriously, kid, you slept with more people than you could remember the names of." Leonard shot back, sighing at his nearly empty plate. "I thought about it too, and I thought maybe... if I got really close to someone, maybe it wouldn't matter if they're a guy. Don't know how to explain it. I just feel like this generation is past the whole black and white, gay and straight thing." 

"That makes zero sense, but okay." Jim said, bobbing his head and totally rolling with it. Leonard sighed again, a little irritated. 

"I think that if you meet the right person, it shouldn't really matter what they even LOOK like, you know?" Leonard tried explaining, and Jim shook his head. 

"No, they have to look good for me, sorry." Jim said, making Leonard smile a little. Cocky bastard. "I mean, we both know that I don't give a shit about gender, but looks? They gotta look a least a little pretty if I'm going to be with them." 

"Well sure, they should be a little bit pretty, at the very least." Leonard said, and Jim nodded in agreement. They continued to eat their meals in silence after that, which gave Leonard a little bit of time to think about things. Or... not, since Jim started talking out of nowhere again. 

"So..." Jim said, puckering his lips in thought. "You only mentioned one pen pal. What about the others? You said you had a few, right?" Leonard blinked at him. He was caught. Even though it wasn't even a significant lie in the first place. 

"Actually, it's just that one. I lied, since I wanted you to think I was being more social than just talking to that one person." Leonard shrugged, and Jim nodded, surprisingly unsurprised. 

"What nickname did you choose? Just so I don't run into you on there." Jim smirked, and Leonard rolled his eyes. 

"Please, the odds of us finding each other on there is like one in 9 billion." Leonard said, shaking his head. 

"Ugh, with that sort of math talk you almost sound like Spock." Jim grumbled, and Leonard made a face. 

"I don't wanna be compared to that guy. It's the statistic that the website says on the Frequently Asked Questions page." He said, annoyed, and changed the subject. "My nickname is Meonatio. M for McCoy, eon for Leonard, and atio for Horatio."

"That doesn't even sound good!" Jim laughed. "Why didn't you just put your actual name or something?" 

"I didn't want it to be too personal. Personal information is for the real world, not a website." Leonard remarked, and Jim grimaced again. 

"So I can't dress up my profile like a fancy young lady, and court you into sending some sexy pics?" Jim wiggled his eyebrows again, and it was Leonard's turn to grimace.

"Definitely not." He glared, and Jim grunted, still smiling a little. "Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Hopefully nobody's gotten dead yet in my absence." He got up, taking the last drink of his water. 

"Mhmm, bye Bones." Jim said, getting up as well. They parted ways, and Leonard took off to Sickbay again so that he could drag his feet around biobeds and sit at a desk for the next few hours. 

\---

After getting dressed in some gym clothes, Leonard headed down to play with Jim. There were several people in the large room already, but Jim had already found them a secluded space on top of a soft black mat. Leonard could already smell the sweat in the room, despite how clean the air was on the ship. 

"Alright, I haven't exactly done this in a long time." Leonard said, standing across from Jim on the mat. 

"It's okay. You'll get the hang of it." Jim smirked, and got into a semi-crouched battle stance. Leonard did the same, his feet digging into the mat with each step. 

Jim sprung forward first, but Leonard side-stepped and pushed him down. Jim gaped at him from his position on the ground, and Leonard chuckled at him. Jim recovered quickly, though, jumping up and approaching him slowly. Leonard kept his hands up and his stance low, ready any impact. Not ready enough, though- in a flash, he was brought painfully to the ground with a smack. He grunted in his throat and frowned up at Jim, who was straddling him with a smirk. 

"Isn't it nice to see the view of what could've been, Bones?" Jim taunted, getting off of him with a laugh. Leonard got up as well, sniffing indignantly. 

"You need to learn how to get over people. Only took me three slaps in the face to get over Jocelyn." Leonard said, and Jim scowled back at him. 

"I am over you! And I'm over Spock now, too. You never asked who any of my pen pals were." Jim pouted, and Leonard snorted. 

"I guess it's because I thought you weren't capable of starting a meaningful relationship!" Leonard taunted back, knowing he was crossing a line. Jim launched at him again, and Leonard met him with equal force. Grabbing each other's arms, they pushed against each other for a while before Leonard swung his arms and maneuvered Jim heftily to the ground. He held out his hand to help the man up, but Jim just slapped it and got up on his own. He was right where Leonard wanted him. 

Throw after throw, Jim hit the ground with repeated thunks. He was getting increasingly pissed off too, and anybody could see it. He finally sprung at Leonard with a yell, kicking him over and knocking him down. Leonard groaned and laid there for a while, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Jim stood above him, glaring him down. 

"You asshole." Jim grumbled before plopping down next to him. Leonard sat up and smiled charmingly at him. 

"Feel better? I've noticed how tense you've been." Leonard asked, and Jim nodded and sighed. 

"Yeah. Thanks. Even though you're still an ass. How'd that even work? Why do I feel so much better?" Jim asked, taking deep breaths still. 

"Letting loose your emotions and exerting yourself physically are both ways to get rid of stress. I figured if I got you angry while still in a stable environment, you could blow off some steam without having to kill anybody." Leonard explained, getting up. 

"Does everything you do have some sort of hidden meaning?" Jim asked as he got up as well, rubbing his eyes. 

"Yes." Leonard said with (presumable) one hundred percent certainty, even though he doubted it was true. 

"Uh, I'm done. We'll have to do this another time though." Jim said, clapping a hand on Leonard's shoulder. They smiled at each other for a while before setting off to the showers. 

\--

Leonard trudged back into his quarters, immediately dressing himself into some light sleeping clothes. After he was comfortable, he sat on the heavily padded chair at the computer. He quickly opened up his messages to see that there was one waiting from about two hours ago. Feeling some guilt, he typed up a reply. 

"I-Chaya,

Sorry if my reply is so unexpectedly late. I know our messaging times are pretty regular. I was caught up sparring with a friend in the gym, though, and he made me walk him back to his quarters before I could come back to mine. It was a pretty long day. 

To answer your previous question about predatory tendencies: I feel as though I'm not particularly entitled to too much of an opinion, considering I'm human, and we as a species have almost ruined our planet by preying on everything. We're one of the only species that actually preys on itself- not that cannibalism is really accepted in today's society. But if I were to relay my own isolated opinion, I'd say that it's okay, but only as long as it doesn't cause any species to become endangered or extinct. What about you? What do you think?

Meonatio"

Leonard sat back, popping his knuckles. He was kind of pleased, actually. It wasn't quite often that I-Chaya started up a conversation- and even less often that they started a conversation about personal opinions of morals. He felt like they were actually getting somewhere, and it was kind of nice.

A message popped up already, surprising him.

"Meonatio,

There is no need to apologize for your absence. It is understandable if either of are otherwise occupied and unable to access a computer. We are Starfleet Officers."

At that, Leonard snorted. That they were. And it was just about the only really personal thing he knew about I-Chaya. He read on. 

"My opinion on the predatory natures of different species could also be counted as biased, considering I was taught never to kill another living being. My people were once encumbered by overwhelming emotions, and often warred on each other and other mammals on the planet. Now, we have evolved into a controlled people, and the idea of harming other beings is a... taboo, as you might say. As a result, I am strictly vegetarian, and the thought of eating meat is quite unsatisfactory for me. However, I do not hold judgment against those who do prey on other animals, so long as it is not in cruel standing. 

I-Chaya" 

Leonard licked his lips, taking a deep breath. He was finally learning something about this person, and he had no idea how to reply. Maybe he could still try to get something else out of them? 

"I-Chaya,

Given both of our cultural history, I think that our biases are pretty justified. And in the end, it sounds like you wouldn't judge me for eating meat, and I certainly wouldn't judge you for being vegetarian. So really, it all works out. 

I do have a question though, if you're willing to answer. What's the history behind your nickname? Mine is just random parts of my first, middle, and last names. 

Meonatio"

He sat back and waited for a reply. And waited. He got up and grabbed himself some water (he was always drinking water), taking some long gulps as he watched the computer screen. But nothing showed up. Leonard frowned. Did he cross a line? Maybe he should send another message, apologizing about how personal the question was... 

No, damn it. They've been talking for weeks. They should be able to talk about things that are a bit more personal than predators and Starfleet! Even the person's profile descriptions didn't reveal much! Occupation: Science Officer at Starfleet. Age: 30. Interests: Research, art, literature, martial arts. Honestly, all of it was just full of... nothing! It didn't really tell him anything, except that the person was a deep thinking science officer three years younger than him. What was he supposed to do with that? 

Leonard sighed, and was about to go off to bed when a message popped up. He read it over quickly, relieved that he got a reply. 

"Meonatio,

Admittedly, I was hesitant to explain the meaning behind my nickname, since explaining it would reveal multiple personal facts about me. However, I infer that it would now be appropriate to start revealing such personal things. 

While I was a child, I had a pet sehlat, which were similar to the grizzly bears often found on Earth. The only notable differences between the two species is that sehlats had long fangs and a long tail, and that they can be domesticated as pets. It was quite common for the young children of my people to own sehlats, as it was a crude lesson for learning respect for other creatures early in life. 

My sehlat was named I-Chaya, and was passed down to me by my father. He was cherished by my family, even though my mother was initially wary of him. After many years of following me around against my will, I-Chaya was killed as he protected me against the attack of a le-matya. There was no chance of saving his life. It was very regrettable that he had to be killed by my inability to defend myself. 

I-Chaya" 

Leonard blinked at the screen. So, obviously, this person was not human. He had never even heard of sehlats or le-matyas or anything like that. Maybe he had heard of them while at the Academy, but he obviously held no retention of it. He'd have to look into that later. 

In the meantime, he typed up a reply, trying to convey his sympathies without sounding like a pitying ass. He really did feel bad though. He could only imagine what it felt like to have a childhood companion that died in order to save his life. It would be heartbreaking. His pen pal, though, seemed to have gotten over it by now. Even so, it's not like they were a particularly emotional person in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the sparring (or any/all of it) seemed a little... horribly written. I'm still working to improve my writing skills. Tips and critiques are welcome!


	4. Is it possible that they care?

While sitting at his desk in Sickbay, Leonard was alerted that Spock was in need of attention. Leonard sighed and pushed himself from his desk and out of his office. Spock was sitting on a biobed, looking paler than usual. They were silent as Leonard pulled out a tricorder and used the probe to scan him. He frowned at the readings. Nothing was wrong with him, except that he was exhausted. 

"Wanna tell me why you're here today, Spock?" Leonard asked, as if reprimanding a child that was sent to the principals office. He kind of liked that analogy. 

"The Captain ordered that I be here, on the account that my exhaustion was causing a deficiency in my work." Spock explained, and Leonard raised his eyebrows.

"When has being tired ever effected your work ethic?" Leonard asked in mock incredulousness. Spock's expression didn't change. 

"My argument exactly, Doctor." Spock replied smartly. Leonard grabbed a nurse that was walking by, and she scrambled to assist him. 

"Get him something to perk him up. Three times the normal human dosage." Leonard told her, and she nodded and hurried off. He watched her go. If he was a lesser man, he'd say that he was blessed to have such pretty nurses. But he'd never admit that. He turned his attention back to Spock. "What's makin' you so tired? I know it's not like you." He asked, and damn it if the Vulcan looked hesitant to answer. Leonard gave him an exasperated look to encourage him to answer. 

"I have been engaging in conversation with someone into the later hours for the past 7.28 weeks." Spock answered, looking somewhat ashamed. Well, who could really tell with a Vulcan?

"Why?" Leonard asked, since talking to someone until late into the night seemed very... not Vulcan. 

"I do not know." Spock said coldly, looking him square in the eye. 

"What time do you get up in the morning?" Leonard asked, changing the subject. The nurse came back and handed him a hypo with a pretty smile. He nodded to her in thanks, and she walked off. 

"I rise at approximately 0500 each morning." Spock answered, and Leonard blinked at him. 

"Alpha shift doesn't start until 0800. Why would you wake up three hours earlier? You have some hardcore morning ritual or something?" He asked, and Spock just looked at him, void of all possible emotion. Leonard tried not to roll his eyes, and he grabbed the Vulcan's arm. He ignored how uncomfortable the man looked at the contact, and jabbed him with the hypo. "There. That should hold you over until later. If you can't get to sleep tonight, come and tell me. Doctor's orders." Spock nodded and stood up. 

"Thank you, Doctor." Spock said, and walked out. Leonard stared after him. What in the hell was that? Spock never thanked him for his services before. 

"Doctor, patient Lynn Peitte is having an allergic reaction!" Christine yelled at him from across the 'bay, and he hurried over to them. Damn allergic reactions! They were always happening, even in this century. It was a wonder that nobody came up with some brilliant cure for allergies like they did with everything else. 

\--

Jim strolled into Sickbay a few hours later, a serious look on his face. Leonard tore himself from a vomiting patient to meet him. "Bones..." Jim said, sighing and looking off into the distance. "I might not make it back to you tonight." Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. 

"I adore you, Jim, I really do. But I have a very sick patient who needs help right now." Leonard said, clenching his teeth. He was too damn stressed out for this. 

"Okay, okay. But seriously, me and the other members of the away team are going down to investigate why a group of researchers haven't been responding to any transmissions. Could be dangerous. This might be the last time that we see each other." 

"You want me to come down with you?" Leonard asked in all seriousness, even though he could hear poor Jenny Hughes' retching in the background. 

"No, you got patients to deal with. Besides, you're not on the rosters any time soon, so there's no need. I just wanted to see you before the end of my time." Jim said dramatically, and Leonard glared at him. 

"Right. Like you could ever die of something like this. Just go down, and be careful, alright?" Leonard clapped Jim's shoulder, trying to administer comfort. 

"See you later Bones. Love you too." Jim laughed, backing off and walking out of Sickbay. Leonard glared after him before returning to his patient. She really needed to stop eating Andorian redbat...

\--

A couple hours later, someone was rushed into Sickbay, screaming in pain. Leonard's eyes widened as he neared the blond patient that was being lifted onto a biobed. Was it Jim? But it couldn't be! 

"Jeffery Hanson, 46% burn area and deep lacerations on ilium, humerus, and tibia." Christine reported quickly, and Leonard set to work with her. Jim rushed in, going pale at the site of Hanson. 

"Get out of here, Jim. You'll expose his wounds to outside bacteria." Leonard said, fitting his gloves on. When Jim didn't move, he yelled, "Someone get him out of here!" After a few seconds, a couple security offers rushed over and escorted Jim out of the room. He looked back at the patient. Pretty boy. Must've been the same Hanson that Jim was talking about a couple chapters ago. 

Leonard went to work with a couple other nurses, cleaning and patching up Hanson's various wounds, but he just wouldn't stop bleeding! "Damn it, try to stop the blood flow on his brachial and iliac arteries. I need to-" he was interrupted by the monitor's frantic alarm, and he looked to see that the patient was in cardiac arrest (flatlining). He started doing CPR to try and get the heart beating again, pushing repeatedly against Hanson's chest. 

Christine switched off with him every couple minutes, and they continued for a half an hour before Leonard looked at her and shook his head. She nodded back at him, announcing the time of death before he could. Leonard took a deep breath and helped the nurses take care of the body. 

Later on, Leonard went to Jim's quarters with a small bottle of Cardassian Ale. Jim was curled up on his little couch, and Leonard felt bad for him. He really did. "Hey, Jim." He said quietly, setting the ale down on the table and lifting up Jim's feet so that he could sit on the couch with him. He patted his leg comfortingly. 

"I didn't even take a chance to reconcile with him..." Jim spoke quietly, but it didn't sound like he was crying. Sad, sure, but not crying. "We were walking through the wreckage... the researchers had been blown up long ago by a chemical experiment gone wrong. We didn't know... things were still blowing up. He was right next to the explosion when it happened." Leonard took a deep breath, still petting Jim's legs. He really wasn't great at this whole comfort thing. 

"Spock know you're like this?" Leonard asked, wondering if the Vulcan could try to comfort him instead. Jim heaved out a cold laugh. 

"No. He didn't even stick around to offer condolences or anything. He just left to go write up the reports. Haven't seen him since I beamed up. He probably just went so he could go talk to his damned pen pal..." Jim went on grumbling, and Leonard frowned. 

"Pen pal?" He inquired, and Jim laughed cruelly again. 

"Yeah. He's on that one website too. Forgot to tell you. I feel like he's getting closer to that person than he is with me. Which is fine. I knew he'd meet other people. It's not like he liked me as much as I liked him. Excited that I'm finally over him though." Jim drawled on, already sounding tired. 

"Who would wanna talk to him?" Leonard snorted, and slapped Jim's leg, getting up. This caused Jim to groan, but he talked over him. "Anyway, I'm sorry, Jim. I really am. But I can tell you're tired, so I'm going to go back to my quarters for the night. I left you some Cardassian Ale- you can have it." He started to walk away, but Jim snatched his wrist before he could get anywhere. 

"Please, stay with me?" Jim asked, his big blue eyes boring into Leonard's soul. 

"No. Comfort yourself. I have a life to get back to." Leonard said, feeling zero guilt as he walked away from his whining friend. 

He got back to his quarters and, like always, dressed into his sleeping clothes before getting on his computer. He didn't have any new messages from I-Chaya (or rather, I-Chaya's owner, if he wanted to be technical), so he started a new one. 

"I-Chaya,

I've been thinking about something, and it's sort of troubling for me. We're both Starfleet Officers, and with that comes the risk of high danger. Or death." 

He took a deep breath at this point, and was feeling rather cold, as if someone turned the heat down in his room. He struggled to keep typing. 

"I've come to rely on you a lot, but I know that if it comes down to it, I won't be able to protect you if something happens. And I'm reminded of when my dad died, years before I even joined Starfleet. It was the most difficult thing I had ever had to deal with. 

I don't even know what I'm trying to accomplish with saying these things. I think I'm just having some sort of bout of irrational emotions right now.

Meonatio" 

He sighed, turning away from the computer. He was immediately regretting sending that message. He must have sounded like a sniveling little girl! It's not like he was beside himself with grief over the loss of someone he didn't even know. Sure it was sad that they lost another crew member, but hell, he wasn't cryin' about it. He was about to send a follow up message explaining about how he's not trying to seem so feely-touchy, but he received a reply before he could start typing. 

"Meonatio,

It is illogical to wish to protect me, as the odds are against us if we desire to meet in the physical world. However, I admittedly find myself unable to leave the computer when I know that you might be answering me back. 

I have watched both I-Chaya and my mother die. However, I am curious as to your experience with the loss of your father. If it is an unwelcome memory to relay, you need not tell me about it. 

I-Chaya"

Leonard sighed again. His father's death was... definitely not an experience he wanted to talk about. But his pen pal told him about losing I-Chaya, and now their mother, so it was only fair. 

"I-Chaya,

It's an unwelcome memory, yes. But nonetheless, I'll tell you about it. 

My dad was a very energetic man. Full of life. He thought he had years to go before he needed to retire. But then he contracted a rare disease called pyrrhoneuritis, and it just ripped through him as if it was a hungry beast. He lost most of his weight, he was bedridden, and in the most pain I had ever seen someone in. Eventually, even the highest doses of pain killers weren't enough. I was obsessed with trying to find the cure. I searched day and night for an answer. Then, after days of him begging and pleading for me to end his misery... I did. 

Just a few weeks later, an institute finally found the cure, and it was administered all across the quadrant. I feel like I'm to blame for his death. If I had just held out from his pleas for just a few more weeks, he could've been cured, and lived the rest of his years out like he had planned it. But he died early, wrought with pain, and it was all my fault.

Meonatio" 

Leonard drummed his fingers against the desk, staring at nothing. He had the urge to go get himself some water, but he felt like it would be too repetitive of him to do that again. Instead, he got up and went to the bathroom. He relieved his bladder, washed his hands, and brushed his teeth. He also flossed, damn it, because he was a very hygienic man. After he was finished with all that, he went back to sit at his computer. There was a message there. 

"Meonatio,

Do not blame yourself. I have asked nothing of you thus far, but I must demand that you not blame yourself for the death of your father. If you allowed him a release from his unbearable pain, then you have certainly granted him a great service. You had no knowledge that a cure would soon be discovered. Believe me when I tell you that you were not in the wrong. 

I-Chaya"

Leonard smiled, feeling warmer now. He had never gotten such a caring, emotional response from this person. It certainly was strange. But he welcomed it with open arms (metaphorically, obviously). He typed a message back, trying to change the subject, so that they could continue to talk about other things.


	5. IT IS REVEALED!!

Jim floundered on his couch for about twenty minutes before springing off of it. It had been about a week since Hanson died, and Jim was still feeling bothered. He wasn't grieving or anything, but he just felt... off. Maybe he needed to start talking to his pen pals again. He had been feeling too discouraged over the past few days to keep up any conversations. 

Yep, he made up his mind about it. He was going to go visit Spock and see what he was doing. Maybe play some chess. He went through their shared bathroom, and knocked on Spock's door. He heard him say "Enter," so he waltzed in. Spock was at his computer, typing flawlessly, so Jim came up behind him to watch. The Vulcan immediately moved his body to try shielding the screen from him. 

"What the hell, Spock? Getting all secretive on me?" Jim asked, looking appalled. Spock didn't change his expression, just backed off his computer a little bit. 

"Our conversation is somewhat private at the moment." Spock said, and Jim strained to look at the words. He stopped dead when he saw the other person's nickname. Meonatio? Why did that sound familiar? Then his blood ran cold. 

Bones. 

He swallowed, hard, and backed off. His initial shock was overcome quickly, as he laughed it off. "Fine, fine, have your private moment." Jim said, waving his hand and going over to flop onto the silky red bed. He heard the typing continue, and so many questions were coming to him. 

He was just so shocked. A huge grin spread across his face. Spock and Bones were talking! More than talking, they were close! He tried really hard not to make any noise as he freaked out behind Spock's back. They were really... so close. Jim wasn't even mad. In fact, he was so unbelievably happy. If they met completely different people, then that just meant that Jim would have to meet them too, and what if he didn't like them?! This way, everybody already knew everybody! 

"So..." Jim sat up, still grinning. "How close are you two?" Spock turned around to face him, and raised an eyebrow. 

"You seem quite pleased about the matter." Spock commented, and Jim lessened his grin. 

"I'm just happy that you've finally found someone that you like." He replied smoothly, but Spock looked unconvinced. 

"We are only friends." Spock said, and Jim sucked his lips in and nodded. 

"But do you want more with him?" Jim asked, and Spock blinked at him. They looked at each other for a while before Jim noticed his mistake. "Them! Do you want more with THEM?" 

"I have no comment on the matter." Spock said, turning his chair back around to face the computer. Jim came up close behind him to look at the screen. Their conversation didn't look very private now, which is probably why Spock let him look. He squinted, looking for the tiny number in the corner of the screen. 

"You guys have sent 1897 messages to each other? Damn..." Jim said, and Spock nodded from beside him. "So that means in... 103 message, your true names will be revealed. You ready for that?" 

"The chances of us already knowing each other is but a slim 9 bi-"

"I know the chances, I know." Jim said, interrupting him. "But what will happen when you learn who they really are? Things will get pretty personal. What if they're a guy? And don't say you don't have any comments about it."

"I have already considered the possibility of them being male, and I have made my peace with it. The Vulcan society believes in a very general policy called Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations." Spock replied calmly, clearly not phased by any of Jim's questions. 

"What if you guys meet, and you totally and completely hate each other?" Jim asked, trying to get some sort of actual information out of him. 

"I am incapable of hate, Jim." Spock replied, making Jim groan. 

"Yeah, of course you are. Anyway, I'm going to head back to my quarters. You're not being any fun, and I have things to think about." Jim said decidedly, and walked back to the bathroom door. "G'night Spock." He said quickly before retreating back to his room. 

His two best friends were steps away from being together. Sure, they were only friends, but they were very close friends. Very close. God, they didn't even KNOW how close they were to each other. They were literally half a flagship away from one another! And oh how Jim yearned to tell them. At least one of them! He knew he couldn't, though. But he did yearn. 

What if he just told Bones? He'd probably be the one most irritated about it. So if he told him in advance, he'd have time to get over it before Spock knew about it. It was the perfect plan... perfect, as long as he didn't take into account that that probably was not how it would go down. There'd probably be blood. Jim's blood included. 

On second thought, Jim would just stay out of it completely. It was as if he never knew in the first place! Who was this 'Meonatio' person anyway? Certainly not anybody that Jim knew. Sure, he could play along. Even though he was itching terribly to tell someone. Anyone. Maybe he could gossip with Bones about it... He really needed more friends. He may have been popular starship captain James Kirk, but he didn't really have very many real friends. At least, not any friends that he could gossip about it with. 

Uhura would probably be unwilling, since she didn't like ruining people's lives with gossip. Chekov and Sulu were the opposite (damn Gossip Queens), so they were out. Scotty blabbed everything he ever heard when he got drunk. Jim didn't really know many people outside of those friends. Would he really have to keep this all to himself?

Damn... secrets suck. 

\---

The three of them were sitting together at lunch, and Jim was just itching to tell them everything. They literally had no idea that they've been messaging EACH OTHER this whole time! All he wanted to do was give them some little clues about it. If the three of them were together, and Jim just asked Spock who his pen pal was, then Bones would know! He just couldn't wait for them to figure it out. 

He wondered what would happen. Would the two of them start dating? Or would they feel betrayed and hate each other's guts? ... Would one of them want a transfer?! 

Jim stopped, mid-bite, and was internally panicking. Spock and Bones were sitting quietly, eating their own meals, so they (thank goodness) weren't paying attention to him. But... What if one of them actually did want to get transferred?! What would Jim do then? He'd be horribly lonely! There weren't any other people that he could trust anyway, so he'd be at a loss if one of them left. 

He looked between Bones and Spock frantically, still panicking a little. Or a lot. Man he was starting to sweat so hard! It was making him extremely uncomfortable. 

"What's your problem, man?" Bones said, looking at him curiously. Jim just smiled charmingly at the hot brunette, playing as cool as he possibly could. 

"Nothing, just super excited about poker tonight! There's also going to be food there. You two should come!" Jim suggested, and Spock rose an eyebrow at him. He must've known that Jim was acting on impulse, but he didn't comment about it. But in reality, if Jim got them to go to poker, it would be one more night that postponed their identities being revealed on the site!

"No. Got things to do tonight." Bones said over his chicken alfredo, dampening Jim's spirits. 

"I, too, will decline your offer." Spock said, taking a last sip of his tea before standing and leaving the table. Didn't even say goodbye, that ass. Jim turned back to Bones. 

"Bones. It's imperative that you come with me tonight." He said, trying to make it sound important. Hell, it WAS important!

"No, Jim. I'm sorry. I can't ditch out on my pen pal tonight. We left off yesterday on an important, very scientific conversation, and I'd very much prefer to continue it." Bones said, finishing up his meal as well. Jim groaned loudly. Why couldn't Bones have said that BEFORE Spock left?! 

"So you value this pen pal more than I, your best friend of... how many years now?" Jim asked, acting appalled. Well, he didn't really need to act. 

"I value insightful conversation over losing credits to fixed games." Bones said, and stood to leave. 

"Okay, it was only fixed once! And that was Chekov's fault! Damn kid is conniving sometimes..." Jim grumbled, standing as well. 

"Anyway, see you later." Bones said, completely abandoning him. He gaped after the doctor, feeling rejected. He really was feeling rejected. They treated him like trash and they had no idea what kind of service he was lending them by keeping quiet about their pen pal relationship. Bastards. He had horrible taste in people, honestly. 

\--

Leonard sighed, trying to rub away the bags under his eyes. He blinked a little, then went back to staring at the computer screen. He and I-Chaya knew that it was nearing time for their identities to be revealed- and with each message, Leonard was growing more and more nervous. It's not like it would be particularly special, as long as they didn't know each other in real life. 

But what if they did? Before, he didn't think it particularly possible. What if it was just someone on the ship that he never talked to? What if it was one of his friends? What if it was someone back on Earth that he used to be buddies with? Damn it, what if it was an ex?! Or somebody that he hated? 

He sighed again, and typed up a message. 

"I-Chaya, 

I'm being quite unreasonable with myself here, but I'm pretty nervous about learning what your name is. If you're somebody that I already know, then what will happen? But if you're somebody that I don't know, then what significance will this even hold? 

So I have a proposition, of sorts. I want message 2000 to hold some sort of meaning, whether we know each other in the physical world or not. So how about after message 1999 has been sent, we both type up personal things about ourselves and send them at the same time. That way, with the revelation of names and everything, it'll actually be an important and personal event. How does that sound?

Meonatio"

He chewed on his lip, already regretting sending that message. He felt like it was going all too fast... Even though it had been about two months. It's not like he and his pen pal were TOGETHER or anything, but there was no denying their chemistry. They both held their opinions in strong regard, they both had good scientific backgrounds, and they shared a lot of interests. Even if he knew this person and hated them, there was no way that he could still dislike them now. They were much too close. 

"Meonatio,

I, too, find it in best interest that more personal information be shared between us at that time. It is also expected that you be anxious about learning my true identity after all of our private conversations. I can assure you that no matter who you are to me, I will forever hold secret the information that you have entrusted me with. You can believe this, as I do not lie. 

As for the content of the messages to be sent after message 1999: what information in particular would you want to be revealed? 

I-Chaya" 

Leonard smiled, feeling a little more at ease at I-Chaya's promise to keep all his information a secret. Obviously, Leonard could only offer the same promises back to them. 

He really felt at home when messaging them. He couldn't believe that he found someone on this god forsaken website that he actually liked and depended on. And even though he was still tempted to ask Christine or a couple other ladies out on dates, he didn't out of loyalty to I-Chaya. They weren't even together! He just felt that as long as they were talking, he shouldn't try and get into a thing with any other people. It was strange. 

Their system was perfect, too. They messaged each other at set times every day, which worked great with their work schedules. Sometimes one or the other were late, but since they were both in Starfleet, it was completely understandable. If they weren't feeling too great or if they were too tired, they at least sent one message to each other explaining their situation so that the other would know that they were still alive. It was a crude explanation, but in their line of work, it was a real comfort. And if they disagreed on something or had an argument (which did happen- they weren't perfect), they either talked it out or ignored each other for the rest of the day. None of their arguments ever lasted for more than a couple days. 

In fact, their longest "fight" lasted two days, and it was about whether or not one should leave a couple others behind in order to save a bigger party. Like on an away mission. If someone died, Leonard would definitely try to take the body back (and possibly even have a proper burial), even if it put himself at risk. I-Chaya, on the other hand, argued that there would be no benefit of sacrificing oneself in order to "sanctify the lost." They also said things like "The good of the many greatly outweigh the good of the few" and stuff like that, to which Leonard agreed with, but still didn't exactly agree with their point. That argument went on for hours and hours on end for both days. It eventually did come to an end, though, and they probably came out as better people because of it. Leonard would still sacrifice himself, though. 

In any case, Leonard was still anxious, but mildly relieved about their "2000th Message Agreement" and I-Chaya's promise to keep the privacy. Still... he couldn't help losing sleep over it.


	6. It's the end of the world as we know it

Throughout the whole day, Leonard was bouncing his legs and drumming his fingers everywhere he went. He was pretty fidgety, but out of nervousness. The previous day, they had left off on message 1990 since it was getting too late to finish through to the 1999th and on. Today was the day. And by God he was nervous as hell. 

Only during dinner did anyone ask what in the hell was wrong with him (the nurses usually avoided such topics out of fear), and that person of course had to be Jim. Nosey bastard. 

"Hey, Bones, are you okay? You're being kind of... twitchy." Jim asked, knitting his eyebrows together in worried curiosity.

"I'm fine. I'm just a little nervous." Leonard replied, frowning down at his food. He had absolutely no appetite, but he knew that he had to eat anyway to keep his health up. He jabbed a fork into a piece of meat and shoved it in his mouth. 

"Yeah, you seem pretty intense. Wanna talk about it?" Jim asked, and Leonard immediately shook his head as he finished chewing. 

"No." He looked around. "Where's Spock?"

"Why do you want to know?" Jim asked frantically, looking alarmed. Leonard narrowed his eyes at him. 

"Because you usually drag him to dinner with you?" Leonard answered skeptically, and Jim looked relieved. "What's your problem? Your emotions are telling a story here." 

"No they're not. I was just worried if Spock got hurt... or something. And uh, I just realized that he told me to F off earlier because he wanted to do some work." Jim said, and Leonard almost didn't believe him. Almost. 

"I'm sure he didn't actually tell you to F off, but I suppose your story is sound. Damn Vulcan is always working." Leonard grumbled the last part, and Jim laughed, sounding awkward. Honestly, Leonard didn't want to know what was going on with him. 

"Yeah, uh, anyway, I'm sleeping with Scotty." Jim said, and Leonard froze with his fork half way to his mouth. Jim looked alarmed before saying, "I mean tonight I'll be bunking with him! We're not having sex. We're just friends. I just, uh, don't want to be in my room tonight. But if anything happens, just know that I love you and don't come yelling at me because it'll stress me out!" As he finished blabbering, Jim got up and all but ran out of the mess. Leonard glared at the empty spot across from him before shaking his head. Weird kid. Leonard would find out what's up with him sooner or later. 

In the meantime, Leonard looked at the time. It was just a little while before he and I-Chaya were to start messaging each other for the night. At the thought, he felt butterflies in his stomach, and his heartbeat sped up. He was back to being exponentially nervous again. 

-

Leonard followed his usual ritual once he got back to his quarters. He got dressed into some grey jogging pants (incredible comfortable to sleep in), and a fitting black shirt. He often considered wearing the shirt in public since it showed off his muscles, but he hadn't had any use for that since he arrived on the ship. It was always uniform on duty, sweatshirt and jeans off duty. Sometimes it was just too damn cold for t-shirts. It's like they were in space or something!

He brushed and flossed his teeth flawlessly, and got onto his computer. He breathed deeply before continuing the conversation from yesterday. It was the home stretch now.

They made the most incredibly awkward small talk until message 1999- since it was no doubt that both of them were excited. It was Leonard's turn to send message 1999, though, so he typed up a quick little thing. 

"I-Chaya

Here we go. At 2335, we both send our personal-information messages. See you then.

Meonatio"

Leonard breathed deeply for a while before checking the time. Again. They both had about four minutes. He quickly typed up all sorts of things about himself in the message. He talked about his childhood, where he grew up, what his family was like, his daughter, his work... God forbid, he even talked about Jim, and how he was the one that made him get on the website! He ran out of time though, because at 2334 his finger was hovering over the send option. He wasn't shaking. 

At 2335 he sent it immediately, and clenched his eyes shut. That was it. Messages 2000 and 2001 were now sent between them. This was the next step in their advancing relationship. He took a deep breath, and opened his eyes. A small notification was there.

"CONGRATULATIONS! You and your pen pal have reached 2000 sent messages, and your names will now be revealed! 

You have been talking to: Spock

We hope you have a wonderful time together!" 

Leonard blinked. Nah, it had to be a different Spock. No reason for him to get worked up about it. There were probably thousands of Spocks in existence. He clicked away the notification, and read their message. 

"Meonatio,

I am of the S'chn T'gai clan of planet Vulcan. My father is a Vulcan named Sarek, and my mother was a human woman named Amanda. I have one half brother, Sybok, who I have not seen in many years. I also have a very good friend named James Kirk, who is the captain of the starship that I serve on. 

I hope that this is sufficient information.

I-Chaya"

Sufficient indeed. Leonard clenched his fists hard, his knuckles going white. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe any of this. It's been Spock the whole goddamn time?! There was no way. No fucking way. 

He was about to type up a very stern message, but he decided that he should just march over and see the man in person instead. He pushed away from the desk, knocking his chair down in the process, and left his quarters. The floor was cold on his socked feet, but he was fuming. He couldn't believe it. There was absolutely no way that some goddamn computer could have had those nice conversations with him. No Vulcan was so heartfelt. 

As soon as he got to Spock's door, he pounded on it. The door slid open to reveal the Vulcan, who tried to say something, but Leonard pushed his way into the room to look at the computer. There it was. All their messages, all their shared experiences, all their slight intimacies... it was all there. He rose up and glared at Spock. 

"What the fuck?!" Leonard yelled, not knowing what else to say. Spock stood there, emotionless like fucking always, with his hands behind his back. Leonard shook his head and continued to yell. "It couldn't have been you! This person... they- they're sweet! They're nice! A pain the ass sometimes, but we had good times together! They are an amazing person!" 

"Thank you, Doctor." Spock replied, his face still a wall. Leonard growled and neared him. 

"But that's not you! You're an asshole! An emotionless asshole!" He jabbed his finger against Spock's hard chest. "Did you ever feel anything?! Do you feel anything now? Are you angry, Spock? Or are you just a computer?!" He yelled, and Spock's hand whipped around and grasped Leonard's hand in a tight hold. 

"I am angry," Spock said very slowly, the slightest glare on his face, "that my pen pal turned out to be so hateful. Leave my quarters. Now." He glared Leonard down (even though their height difference was about an inch) before letting go of his hand. Leonard was about to keep yelling, but the Vulcan's intense glare made him clench his jaw shut. He knew that Vulcans were, on average, three times stronger than humans. 

Leonard shook his head at Spock, still scowling, and walked past him to get to the door. He hesitated at it, shutting his eyes to think. Just because he and Spock had problems before... it didn't really change the fact that their messages were so... great. He felt a presence behind him, and a hand came to rest on his shoulder. 

He shrugged it off, and walked out the door. Spock was still an emotionless bastard who was always belittling him in every way. He couldn't deal with that. He just couldn't. 

Leonard went back to his quarters, and couldn't fall asleep until 0400.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opinions? Feedback? Please?


	7. Blegh

It had been a few days since Leonard and Spock even looked in each other's general directions, so obviously nothing had really gone anywhere. They didn't message each other anymore. Leonard didn't know what to do with his spare time, so he'd been sparring with Jim each evening. He could barely sleep at night. 

He just didn't want to really accept that Spock was the one that he had been talking to for so long. He was considering the possible relationship of the two of them before! But the idea of being with Spock... he just couldn't see him like that. An acquaintance, sure. A friend was a long shot. A romantic partner? Absolutely not. Leonard wanted someone who actually showed emotion. Someone who actually cared about him and his feelings. Someone who didn't have the chance of going into a psychotic rage and kicking him out of his home. 

Several days ago, he was expecting everything to become easier and better for them after their identities were revealed. But it was pretty much the exact opposite. It was so much more difficult to deal with- it threw Leonard's whole life into some sort of rollercoaster down to Hell. He was really so disappointed that it had to be Spock. Yeah, it wasn't good of him to say, but he might've even been happier if it was Jim talking to him the whole time. Or even Keesner for Christ's sake! But Spock? It made him shiver at the thought.

Walking through Sickbay, he saw Christine and Spock talking, with the latter sitting on a biobed. He almost pivoted on the spot, not wanting to deal with it, but he couldn't tear himself away from the sight. Spock looked... he actually looked sick. A spark of worry welled up within him, even though most of him didn't want to give any shits about it.

He walked up to them, nodding to Christine and saying, "I'll take it from here, Christine, thanks." She smiled back at him, and handed him the medical report that she had already started filling out, and walked away. He chewed on his lip subconsciously while reading over the symptoms. Constant migraines, vomiting, abdominal pain, uncontrolled body temperature altercations (option limited to Vulcans and other species that could change their own body heat according to environmental changes)... He'd be condemning himself by saying they were common symptoms of stress. OR it was just a simple humanoid illness. 

He looked Spock over, noticing every detail. Very tired, fatigued, hungry, slightly dehydrated, stressed... But what could the man be stressed about? Most Vulcans didn't allow themselves to feel emotion. Well, stress wasn't quite an emotion, was it? He looked back at the report. There were still questions to be answered. 

"How many days have you gone without sleep?" He asked, knowing that with Spock, chances were he missed at least two days of sleep if he was acting like this. 

"Three days." Spock replied, and Leonard raised an eyebrow at him. 

"What, no decimal or close approximations?" He asked, and Spock just looked at him. Bastard could at least play along- he was trying to relieve some of the tension. He wrote the information on the report. Three days. "Follow my finger with your eyes." He ordered, and held out his finger, moving it side to side then up and down and back again. He wrote it down. Slow reaction time. He put the report down and felt Spock's neck under his jawline. It was protocol now, since so many people had been coming up with infections lately, so lymph nodes had to be checked constantly. His neck wasn't as warm as it usually was. It's not like he felt his neck all the time, though. Until he found something strange. He frowned, prodding a hard spot deep in Spock's neck. All awkwardness aside, he was almost freaking out. He started pressing on it harder, trying to feel the dimensions of it. It could be cancerous, or-

"It is normal. Vulcan males have glands that secrete a particular chemical during... a certain point of our lives. It allows us to be better identified by females during trying times, due to their acute sense of smell." Spock explained, and Leonard breathed out in relief. 

"Oh, thank god. I wouldn't have wanted to sign your death papers any time soon, that's for sure." Leonard said, and wrote on the report again. Lymph nodes slightly swollen, most likely due to the vomiting. "Sometimes your Vulcan physiology evades me." He grumbled absently, filling out the rest of the required information himself. When he was finished, he wrote down the medications on a slip as he said, "I'm prescribing you a sleeping aid, as well as some pain killers that will also ease the nausea. Take this to Christine, she'll handle it for you." He held out the slip, and Spock took it with a nod. As the Vulcan stood, he swayed ever so slightly.

"Thank you." Spock said quietly, and left without another word. Leonard sighed, watching him go. Damn it. He didn't know how to explain how he felt, but he just felt sort of... empty. It was like the loss of I-Chaya left a void in his soul. Or something. 

Ever since he saw that I-Chaya was Spock, he had been picturing Spock's face behind all of those conversations. And while it seemed wild at first that those great times could be associated with someone like that, it eventually became automatic in his mind. Now whenever he looked at Spock, he was reminded of all those good times, and it was kind of nice. Except for the fact that he still felt absolutely pissed off and frustrated that it had to be Spock in the first place. 

However, the thought of Spock being sick was kind of concerning. He wasn't too sure as to how often Vulcan adults got sick, but he figured it couldn't have been frequent at all. In fact, this was probably the second time he saw Spock get sick. The first was during an away mission gone wrong, which landed a couple dozen people in Sickbay with the planet's seasonal virus. Even that wasn't very bad- it was just very highly infectious. But to have Spock sick now... Leonard could only feel like he was the one to blame. He was probably the only person that Spock really trusted back when they were messaging each other. Then to figure out that it was really him of all people was probably catastrophic for him. Leonard coming over and yelling at him probably didn't help either. 

Oh well. Spock was a strong man. He could get over it. Vulcans were already so prestigious at suppressing their emotions, so this should all be over and done with in no time. Or so Leonard hoped, as he got back to the ol' grind (work). 

\--

That night, Leonard was flopping around in bed trying to sleep when Jim commed him. "Spock's still vomiting. I don't think he took any of that medicine you gave him, or if he did, then it wasn't strong enough. Please do something. I need my sleep." Jim said, and Leonard groaned. He didn't grant Jim any answer as he rolled out of bed, got a sweatshirt on, and strolled off to Sickbay. 

He had his eyes closed pretty much the whole way, since even though he hadn't slept at all, his eyes were still heavy on him. By that time, he had the exact route of almost anywhere to Sickbay mapped out in his head. It was pretty great. He walked into the 'bay, grumbling some noises at a nurse who asked why he was there, and ignored everyone on his way to the meds. He grabbed a hardcore sleeping hypo, which would no doubt knock any Vulcan out. It wasn't really supposed to be used unless the person was in immense pain, or couldn't sleep to (literally) save their life, but he figured that this could be an exception if he worded the report good enough. 

Leonard walked with the hypo in his sweatshirt pocket, and a powerful yawn that could blow cities down if he wasn't careful. Why was he even up in the first place? Oh right, Spock. He was his patient- of course he would take care of his patients! 

He was outside Spock's quarters, and chimed the door. He heard an "enter" somewhere, so he walked in. There was no one in the room, so he walked into the bathroom (the door was already open). There he saw Spock sitting on the floor next to the toilet, looking pretty bad. He actually felt bad for him. 

"A certain someone complained that he couldn't sleep because of you," Leonard said, and tried to avoid contact. Except he caught sight of himself in the mirror and grimaced. Disheveled brown hair, bags under his eyes, and he was wearing the drabbiest clothes. What a loser. He turned back to Spock (who didn't look that much better) and opened his mouth to speak before the Vulcan maneuvered over the toilet and started vomiting. Poor thing. Throwing up really sucked, no matter who you were. 

Leonard walked out of the room and got Spock some cold water and some hot tea, and carried them back carefully, setting them down on the floor between them. He sat down as well, waiting for Spock to finish, and leaned against the wall. 

"I regret that you must see me in this state," Spock got out before vomiting again. Leonard snorted. 

"Please, I've seen much worse in my day, believe me. You take the meds I told you to get?" He asked, and Spock nodded. "They help at all?" Spock hesitated this time before nodding a little. Leonard sighed. "Damn. You're so difficult to treat. I never know if your body's wanting to act like a human or a Vulcan. Anyway, I got a super powerful sleeping aid for you, whenever you're finished here." Spock gave him a stern look, wiping his mouth with a tissue and taking a long drink of water. 

"You seem much more calm..." Spock trailed off, and decided not to finish his sentence. Leonard nodded. 

"I guess I'm just starting to get used to the idea of your face behind all those messages. Even if it is ugly." He said. Spock just looked at him. "It was a joke, Spock. Now if you're finished, get into bed." The Vulcan nodded, grabbing the tea and drinking it before crawling into bed. Leonard grabbed the hypo out of his pocket and administered to Spock's neck, and the man was out in a matter of seconds. Looking around, Leonard grabbed an empty waste bin and put it next to the bed. Just in case. He also disposed of the old water and got a fresh glass, putting it next to the bedside table. 

He looked at his work for a little bit then. He would've made a good father if he was allowed the chance, right? Taking care of a sick kid was in that job description, and there he was. It was like Spock was his son. That he almost had a relationship with because of a damn website. Sometimes he wondered if Jim put them both on that site on purpose, but he dismissed the idea as quick as it came; there was no guaranteeing that they would actually meet on there, and absolutely no guarantee that they'd actually like each other. 

Did he like Spock? Leonard looked at the innocent, sleeping man. His upswept eyebrows made him look pissed even in sleep, but he still seemed at peace. It was a view to behold. In that moment, he decided it. No, he definitely did not like Spock. It was just wrong. Every time he looked at the man, he still wanted to punch him. 

Leonard walked out of the room and back to his own quarters, where he was finally able to fall asleep. 

\---

The following morning, Jim made them all go to breakfast together. It's not like Leonard had any qualms about going, it's just that he felt that he could only take so much of Spock's shit. Cold truth. 

Spock was the last to arrive, looking well rested but still a little pale. He got a bowl of soup and some tea. Seemed fitting enough. "How you feelin'?" Leonard said before taking a bite of his omelette. He could tell that Jim was watching the two of them closely, and it was sort of unnerving. 

"I am adequate, thank you." Spock replied, and Leonard gave him The Look. He was about to say that 'adequate' wasn't good enough of an answer, but Jim started blabbering first. 

"Yeah, well, I'm still not clearing you for duty. You need another day's rest first." Jim demanded, and Spock almost looked annoyed. Or that's what Leonard thought. One had to be very keen to see the minor changes in the Vulcan's face and body language in order to determine how he was feeling. Leonard felt like he'd built up that skill- certainly more than Jim had, as he was pretty oblivious of whatever Spock was feeling. 

"Hey, Captain," Leonard butt in, and Jim scoffed at him. Jim hated it when he called him Captain. "I'm the doctor here, so I think that I'll be the one to judge when Spock can return to duty." He said, and Spock opened his mouth to interject, but he spoke again. "I meant that I'm the only active medical doctor here, Spock." He raised his eyebrows at the Vulcan, who in turn took a tentative sip of his tea. 

"I always forget about your higher level of education, Spock." Jim said after he got done munching on a bite of apple. "How'd you know about that, Bones?"

"Please, kid, I know more about Spock than anyone on this ship." Leonard chuckled, and as expected, Jim scowled at him. "But don't be jealous that you'll never measure up to someone as trustworthy as I." He smirked, and Jim slammed his head on the table. 

"I will take you on right now." Jim threatened playfully, although his face was completely serious.

"Bring it on, Jimmy Boy!" Leonard exclaimed, mimicking a certain guy back at the Academy that would always pick on Jim. Finnigan, if he remembered correctly. 

"Is this another demonstration of friendly affection?" Spock asked, and they both glared at him. 

"Of course not." Jim said, slamming his Apple down. 

"We're really going to fight." Leonard said next, then turned to Jim. "Hour after work?" He asked, and Jim nodded with determination before taking his food and leaving dramatically. Which was completely uncalled for, since he didn't even finish his breakfast. 

It was the most important meal of the day, damn it!

"I advise against engaging in conflict with the captain." Spock said, and Leonard smiled, taking a drink of his orange juice. Had to get his ascorbic acid somehow. 

"Nah, we've taken to sparring almost every evening now. It's kind of a fun pastime." He explained, and Spock nodded in approval. "It's also a pretty good outlet for emotional buildup..." He said suggestively, eyeing Spock. Vulcans had plenty of emotional buildup, right? "Maybe you should come." Spock took another drink of his tea, as if thinking it through. 

"I am amenable to that." He said, looking Leonard up and down. "Although, I wouldn't say that you are quite the formidable foe." Leonard looked at him, shocked. 

"My race might be three times weaker than yours, but that doesn't mean that I am! And you're only half Vulcan, which means that you'd only be one and a half times stronger than a human." Leonard explained, feeling good about himself. 

"That theory is not held upon sound evidence." Spock replied, raising an eyebrow. Leonard mimicked him, raising his own eyebrow. 

"Then I guess we shall have to see, then, won't we?" He asked challengingly, and Spock nodded. They both went back to eating, leaving Leonard to wonder what in the hell he just did. He just INVITED Spock somewhere. Didn't he just get through saying how he didn't even want to deal with the man? And now he was inviting him other to the gym for playful tussles? 

He must have been going insane. It was the only logical explanation.


	8. Short Chapter

((The same day as last chapter))

Clad in gym clothes, Leonard sparred with Jim for only about twenty minutes before the captain gave up. "I'm just not feeling it today, Bones." He said, sprawled out on the floor. Leonard smirked and grabbed a towel from the wall to wipe himself off with. He didn't particularly enjoy having sweat all over himself. "You should get me one of those." Jim said, and since Leonard was finished, he chucked his own towel onto the man's face. Jim grunted, pulling it off. "Damn it, I want my own!"

"Then get it! You have legs!" Leonard barked back. Some people a ways away looked over at them worriedly, but he just glared at them. Worked every time. Jim always got playfully whiny after physical exertion. It's like he deserved a break or something. 

"Mmh, I'll be right back." Jim grumbled, heaving himself up and setting off to the bathrooms. 

"I apologize for my tardiness." Leonard jumped when he heard this, and whipped around to see Spock there, eyebrow raised and hands behind his back. He relaxed minutely. 

"It's fine. I've only just gotten warmed up. I dunno 'bout Jim though. Seemed pretty tired already." Leonard said, looking in the direction of the bathroom. Hopefully nothing was actually wrong with Jim. They usually sparred for at least an hour before he was this tired. He'd have to ask him about it later. He shrugged and looked back at Spock. "We could start without him." He suggested, and Spock nodded hesitantly. 

They both got into position, and began throwing (fighting/sparring). Three times Leonard was slammed to the ground, and the fourth time, he groaned in pain and rubbed his head. Spock stood above him and held out his hand. He glared back, and pushed himself up. He ain't need help from no Vulcan. 

Leonard took a deep breath, and got into position. He mapped his actions out in his head, trying to think. He the logical thing to do was to try to overpower him, since Vulcan reflexes were catlike. So obviously he chose the absolutely illogical option, and swiftly charged at Spock like he was going to get around him to take him from behind. But at the last moment he changed his strategy and powerfully tackled him to the ground with a thunk.

"Finally got you, bastard!" Leonard exclaimed triumphantly on the floor before he noticed how he was on top of Spock. He swallowed and looked down at the Vulcan, closer to him than he'd ever been before. It was definitely cliché, but he felt like he could see the man's whole life in those chocolaty eyes. He glanced at Spock's lips, licking his own without thinking. 

"Whoa, I leave and then suddenly there's a love scene going on!" Jim laughed, popping out of nowhere. Leonard scrambled off of Spock and stood up quickly. He glared at Jim. 

"Ain't no love scene, ya dunce." He grumbled, and ignored Spock's figure standing up as well. Jim wiggled his eyebrows, which made Leonard's glare intensify. 

"Fine. But it's my turn to spar with Spock now." Jim said with a new expression of determination and excitement. Right. Jim could have his damn Vulcan, for all he cared. Leonard walked off without saying a word, and went to go take a shower. 

\--

The three of them walked around the ship together, since Jim suggested that they hang out longer because he didn't want to be alone. Leonard agreed, since hell, he probably wouldn't be getting to sleep until at least two in the morning. And Spock probably agreed because he had been doing work in his quarters or in the lab all day, so maybe he wanted some time out as well.

What Leonard noticed, though, make him a little disconcerted. It was that whenever they were walking, standing, sitting, or talking, Jim seemed to always want to be in between him and Spock. It wouldn't normally upset him, since the Vulcan ticked him off, but it was becoming a bit obsessive. 

They approached Spock's quarters, to where he 'retired for the night,' and it was just the two of them. Before Jim could walk into his own quarters right next to Spock's, Leonard grabbed his arm briefly to make him stay behind.

"Do you still like him?" Leonard asked quietly, frowning slightly. Jim's bright blue eyes widened as he shook his head.

"No! Why would you say that?!" He said frantically, making Leonard give him an exasperated look. 

"Don't lie to me, Jim. I can see that you always want to be near him at all times. It's a wonder you haven't been fondling him this whole night, the way you've been acting." He said and Jim gaped at him. 

"... Do YOU like him?" Jim whisper-yelled, and Leonard immediately shook his head. 

"No. I don't-"

"You do." Jim interrupted, making Leonard glare at him. "Don't deny it, Bones! Or else you wouldn't be this worked up about it!" 

"Maybe I could see him as a friend, but a romantic interest?!" Leonard said, shaking his head again. "No. Not even close." Jim didn't reply, so they glared at each other for several minutes. Leonard was beginning to feel pretty frustrated. He did NOT like Spock. At all. Ever. Jim smirked at him suddenly. 

"I'm feeling a lot of sexual frustration from you. You wanna come in for a quickie?" He asked suggestively, and Leonard was about to snap at him, before he thought about it. Would he like one? He looked Jim up and down. He sure was a pretty boy. 

If he was actually, really into men, maybe he'd consider it. If he wasn't pissed off, maybe he'd consider it. If he didn't have any sense of dignity in who he was, maybe he'd consider it. If Jim wasn't such a promiscuous ass sometimes, maybe he'd consider it. But this wasn't like that. 

So he just walked away. Jim called after him, said he was only joking, but Leonard just ignored him. He wasn't in the mood to deal with that anymore today. He was just going to go back to his quarters and try his damnedest to sleep. So when he did get back to his place, he got dressed and performed his nightly ritual like usual. Except there was something on his computer. He frowned and walked up to it. A notification? 

It was from Spock. Through that one dating website. It said that it was sent around noon. It automatically displayed their real names this time, making Leonard feel minutely uncomfortable. He sat down in the desk chair, and read the message. 

"Leonard,

I presume that you will not receive this message until late tonight. However, given our time apart, I have not had the opportunity to make my opinions on our situation known. 

While I am not quite pleased about how the situation resulted, it is my strong suggestion that we strive to create a friendship from it. To continue to live against each other would be a lost opportunity. 

I find that a small part of me is grateful that you were the one that I have been speaking to with such trust and familiarity. Take that as you will. 

Spock" 

It was a short message. A short, summary of a message. And yet, it was still there. Before he could even think about writing back or not, another message popped up, almost making him jump. Almost. 

"Leonard,

I must remind you that I am a touch-telepath. If you think again of performing intimate acts with me, it is advisable that you are not in contact with me before doing so if you desire to keep it hidden. Although, I must admit that I was not displeased with your sudden desire in the gym whilst we were sparring. 

Spock" 

Leonard's eyes were wide, and he went back to stare at the "touch-telepath" part. God damn it, he knew that the damn Vulcans were psychics! He just hasn't thought of it at the time! So Spock knew that he... he wanted to... 

Did he even want to, really? Wasn't it something that any normal person would think when they're that close up to someone? Well, maybe not, since Leonard remembered being stuck in tight situations with a lot of different people, and he never wanted to kiss any of them. He never looked at their lips, and just thought how awesome they looked. Or into those eyes, and thought how gorgeous they were. 

Good thing he wasn't some big sap. He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to eliminate the hotness that was there, and got up. He wasn't going to answer Spock. There was nothing he could say to help justify himself for the situation. He'd just have to go to sleep, and wait until the new day to grant him inspiration to keep trudging along.


	9. Falling...!

Leonard absolutely could not stop thinking about Spock. He couldn't stop thinking about how he was tempted to kiss him that one day. He couldn't stop thinking about the man- his face, his voice, his mannerisms, his eyebrows... Every time he did something or saw something, he would think, 'What would Spock say about that?' Or when he read or witnessed something interesting, he'd think, 'I should show this Spock- he'd probably find it fascinating!' He never actually did mention any of those things to the Vulcan, but he thought about it. Boy, did he think about it. 

He really almost felt bad. He was Spock's only friend, other than Jim. And he just shut down on him. He was probably lonely. Probably about as lonely as Leonard had been for the past several years. 

During dinner, it was just him and Spock, and it was borderline awkward. Despite all of the things that he'd been wanting to tell and show to the man, he was suddenly out of things to talk about. Spock sat there quietly, eating some cooked vegetables and drinking tea (as always). The man seemed obsessed with tea... 

"Is there a reason why you drink tea all the time?" Leonard asked, finally finding something to talk about. 

"Aside from the pleasing taste, most teas have calming and stress-relieving qualities." Spock explained, and Leonard nodded. He'd never really tried the stuff himself. 

"You mind if I try some?" He asked, and Spock hesitated before nodding slightly. He grabbed the cup and took a swig, grimacing as soon as his brain registered the taste. He set the cup back down, and looked at Spock, who was watching him with an eyebrow raised in amusement. "It's not for me." Leonard grumbled, and gulped down some of his soda. 

"I have observed that many humans are not fond of the taste of tea." Spock explained, making Leonard snort. 

"Well you 'observed' pretty accurately. Humans tend to like much sweeter, more flavorful things. A lot of us don't enjoy your... leaf water." He said, frowning at the liquid of abominations.

"Admittedly, I did not initially enjoy the taste of most Vulcan teas. It is my inference that it has become a sort of acquired taste." Spock explained, and took a drink from the tea, as if speaking about it made him thirsty. Leonard nodded, and he became a bit warm as he thought about how they've indirectly kissed via the shared beverage. 'Damn it man, snap out of it!' He thought to himself. He didn't want to think about such things while the man was with him! Suddenly Spock was looking at him expectantly. 

"You say something?" He asked, feeling slightly dumb for thinking so hard that he missed what Spock said. 

"I inquired as to whether you would be amenable to sparring with Jim and I in approximately 0.962 hours." Spock said, and Leonard thought about it. Did he really want to deal with Jim tonight? 

"Eh, might as well. Gotta make up with him eventually." Leonard grumbled, almost inaudibly, to himself. 

"Are the two of you experiencing conflict?" Spock asked, sounding a bit surprised. Leonard glared at him. 

"No. We're perfect. I don't like your tone." He said, and he thought that he almost sounded like a parent. Why was it that he only thought of being a parent while he was around Spock?! It's not like he thought the Vulcan was like a son to him or anything. Fathers didn't want to kiss their sons. Well, actually, it was sort of often that that kind of incest popped up somewhere. But that was beside the point! He stood up, even though he had barely finished any of his sandwich. "I'll meet you there!" He said, and left before Spock could say anything. He exhaled a breath of relief, and set off to his quarters. 

\--

When he got to the otherwise empty gym, Spock and Jim were already throwing each other around. Leonard stood against a nearby wall, crossed his arms, and watched them. Both men were already sweating slightly, and when their bodies hit each other, Leonard almost felt like he was watching a sex video. And it almost made him gag. It's not like it was disgusting, it's just that the idea of Spock and Jim together like that made him... irritated. 

Jim pinned Spock against the floor, and that's when Leonard walked over to them, nudging Jim off the Vulcan gently (sort of) with his foot. Jim glared at him. "What? You know I'm not-"

"Yeah, I know, Jim." Leonard grumbled, and held out his hand for him. Spock could get up on his own. "Havin' fun?"

"Yeah, got him all warmed up for ya." Jim smirked, patting Leonard's shoulder. "You can have all the fun now. I made him come with me here a half an hour early so that I could get outta your hair when you got here." He winked with the eye that wasn't visible to Spock, making Leonard glare back. Damn man was so suggestive. It was a wonder that he wasn't an Orion in disguise. He waved goodbye to Spock and walked off. 

"Well. Let's get to it then?" Leonard suggested, walking over and getting into position. Spock nodded and took position a ways across from him. Time for the close, sweaty, physical exertion. He swallowed, trying to ease his stomach. He could handle this. He'd done it before...

He was slammed to the floor too many times to count, before Spock helped him up once again and said, "Your mind has been wandering. Should we continue at a later date?" Leonard shook his head. 

"No, don't worry about it." He said, trying to steel himself. Vulcans could read thoughts. He could not slip now. No thoughts of attraction or hotness or kissing. None of it. "Let's go." He clapped his hands together and got into position. Spock gave him the chance to go first, so he took it in his stride- a new ambition to win coming over him. 

He and Spock tumbled to the floor, with Leonard landing on top of him. He pushed himself up painfully, catching his breath and looking down at the Vulcan. His mind flashed again to the desire to kiss him, and he looked down at his mouth. Dry from exertion, but still smooth and luscious... He looked into his eyes. Spock probably knew what he was thinking about, and yet he wasn't reacting to it. But he wasn't pushing him away either. 

He swallowed hard, and glanced at Spock's lips again. He could just inch closer. That's all it would take. He lowered himself down slowly, angling his head. Once he was close, so close, he shut his eyes. He hesitated again, briefly, but went even lower until their lips finally touched. His heart beating unhealthily fast, Leonard could feel his face blushing slightly, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away. 

The feel of Spock's lips on his was so sensually harmonic, his whole mind was filled with nothing but pleasurable feelings. But then realization hit him- that he was actually KISSING SPOCK- and he pulled away quickly, and scrambled off of him. "I'm... I'm so sorry." He said, and they both stood up. Spock raised an eyebrow at him, his cheeks lightly flushed green. 

"If you were truly sorry, then you would not have done it." He countered, making Leonard feel like shit.

"I... If you didn't..." He tried speaking, but his mouth stopped working. His mind was frantic. He just kissed Spock. Was Spock mad? Was he regretting not moving when he had the chance? Did he want to kill him? Damn it, he didn't know what the asshole was thinking!

"I had not expected you to act upon those thoughts." Spock said, stepping closer to him. Leonard mentally braced himself for the punch. He knew it was coming. He was already mapping out his hours in sickbay after all was said and done. "I am pleased." Leonard frowned at him. 

"You... what?" He asked, not believing it. He thought Spock was pissed at him. "You don't look like it." He grumbled, gesturing towards that stoic, emotionless face.

"Do you wish to pursue a romantic relationship with me?" Spock asked out of the blue, and Leonard was taken aback. A relationship? With Spock? A romantic one?! What would that entail? What would it be like?

"How would I know if you're feeling anything?" Leonard asked, and Spock almost looked annoyed. 

"You of all people should know that I feel a great deal." Spock snapped, making Leonard feel bad. "Although I prefer to suppress my emotions, I am seldom completely successful in doing so."

"Which is totally fine!" Leonard exclaimed. "You don't have to suppress your feelings around me. You've never had to! All I've ever wanted was to see you feel something." Spock stared at him, not replying, which made him almost regret saying that. "If you want to be in a relationship with me, then... I'm okay with it too."

"You are 'okay' with it?" Spock asked, seeming skeptical. 

"Come on, Spock, you know I'm nervous!" Leonard admitted, to which Spock nodded, making him feel even more anxiety about it all.

"As am I." Spock said, making Leonard glare. "Can you not tell?" He asked, and he glared even more. 

"No." He said before coming closer to him. There weren't even any clues. He could tell (usually) when Spock was angry, amused, or sad, but now he was like a brick wall. No clues. No hints. Nothing. "Would it hurt you to smile? Your steeled face makes me feel like you're not happy at all about this." He said, no doubt sounding a bit whiny, but who cared?! It was an emotional moment, damn it! 

"Do not think such things, Leonard." Spock said quietly. "I am very... happy." The corner of his mouth quirked up the slightest bit, making Leonard grin immediately.

"Well damn it all to hell..." Leonard exclaimed quietly, shaking his head. "So you do feel after all." At that, Spock flat out glared at him, making him burst out laughing. "It was a joke! A joke! I had to get rid of some of my tension." He said, and sobered quickly. 

"You are not taking this seriously." Spock assumed- which really made an ass out of both of them- and Leonard shook his head. 

"I am. I really am. This is the most serious thing that's happened to me in a long time. And I'm scared. Excited, happy, and scared." He explained, giving out enough emotion for the both of them. He was only a sap sometimes. Only when the situation merited it. 

"Shall we leave?" Spock suggested, walking away, and Leonard glared and caught up to him. 

"You bastard, you completely blew me off there." He complained, trying to read Spock's face, but it was placid. 

"I merely left the conversation to be continued at another time." Spock countered. Leonard wondered what in the hell he was doing, dating a man like that. Wow. He was dating Spock. They were boyfriends. Leonard had a BOYfriend. Never thought he'd see the day... 

They walked out of the gym, and set off to Spock's quarters, since it was closest. Even so, it was still quite a ways away. The ship held about four hundred people, after all. It was like a tiny town. He looked over at Spock as they walked, who glanced over at him only briefly before continuing to look forward in a dignifying way. Leonard tried not to roll his eyes as he also looked ahead. The halls there were almost empty- only a few ensigns were wandering around. He looked down at Spock's hand, and before he could change his mind, he grabbed it.

"If you insist on holding my hand, then I suggest that you clear your thoughts of anything unwanted." Spock warned, but nonetheless blushed slightly and grasped his hand. "I hope you remember enough about Vulcan physiology to also know that our hands are quite sensitive. So please don't... move them together very much."

"No problem." Leonard said, even though he held no truth onto that answer. He wondered just how sensitive the hands were. Didn't Vulcans kiss with their hands? Or was that another species?

"There is the Vulcan kiss- in which both people slide their middle and index fingers together. If two people were to hold hands in a Vulcan vicinity, it would be seen as something quite vulgar." Spock explained, and Leonard nodded. So they were practically breaking the rules of Vulcan etiquette. He ran his thumb across the back of Spock's hand in thought, causing him to pull away immediately. "You lost your privilege." Spock said sternly, clenching his fist shut and blushing slightly. Leonard didn't know whether to feel victorious that he made the Vulcan feel something, or to feel disappointed that he lost his hand-holding privileges. Eh, he'd get it back eventually. No problem. 

They walked in silence before reaching the door Spock's quarters. They stopped, facing each other. "Goodnight, Spock." Leonard said, smiling ever so slightly at the man.

"Goodnight, Leonard." Spock replied, which was one of the first times that he had actually said his first name out loud. Leonard leaned in slowly, and kissed him lightly. The press of their lips together felt amazingly sweet, but was finished as quickly as it began. Spock retired into his room, and Leonard sighed and took off to his own quarters.

What had he gotten himself into?


	10. End!

In short, dating Spock was interesting. In long, they did a lot of things together that weren't overall romantic, but definitely something that they wouldn't have done before. Leonard would visit the Bridge more to banter with Spock about meaningless things, while the Vulcan would in turn visit Sickbay every once in a while to talk about medical things. They also took walks every once in a while around the emptier parts of the ship- which was actually a completely useless thing to be doing. Nothing could be accomplished by it, but they still walked around different parts of the ship for about an hour every other day. 

And yet, Leonard still felt as lucky as someone who won the highest spin at a Dabo Wheel.

As he was finishing up his very important work in Sickbay, Jim strode into his office accompanied by Spock. Leonard held up a finger, making Jim sigh impatiently. He finished quickly, put his things away, and stood up. "Dinner?" He guessed, since Jim looked hungry. Or was that his face?

"Damn, Bones, is that a hypo in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Jim smirked, eyeing Leonard's crotch. He glared at him, and pulled a hypo out of his pocket. 

"Forgot I had that there. Was carrying it around because I was worried a patient was going to get aggressive." Leonard said, leaving the hypo on his desk and walking out with them. 

"Who was it?" Jim asked, no doubt wanting to gossip.

"That's confidential, Cap." Leonard replied, bumping arms with Spock. The Vulcan hadn't spoken yet, so Leonard was somewhat worried that something was up. Spock didn't respond to the arm contact, though, so he sighed and kept walking.

In the mess, after they had started eating, Spock excused himself to the restroom. Once he was out of hearing distance (a very great distance, with those Vulcan ears), Leonard turned to Jim. "Okay, what the hell is going on? He's been quiet this whole entire time."

"When is he not quiet?" Jim joked half-heartedly, chewing on his spaghetti. Leonard gave him The Look, which worked every time. "Okay fine. On an away mission a few days ago, an ensign died and Spock refused to let anyone bring the body back."

"Wait, what?! What away mission? When?" Leonard interrogated Jim.

"Calm down, Bones, God..." Jim shook his head and put his fork down. Leonard had long since abandoned his own meal. Jim made sure none of the people around were listening before he continued. "About three days ago, Spock and a few others beamed down to the planet to get some information from some astrophysicist. But our positioning systems were all wrong, so they got lost. Then some ice monster cornered on them, survived their phaser shots, killed the ensign, and chased them off."

"Why didn't you tell-"

"Shh, he'll probably come back soon." Jim said quietly, looking around. "We didn't want you to worry. Anyway, the other crewmen wanted to go back to get the body, but Spock refused to let them and ordered them to stay where it was safer. Now some people are convinced that he has no respect or regard for the dead-"

"Who?!" Leonard snapped, wanting to straighten this all out. 

"So really, Bones, my headache is killing me." Jim complained, leaning back in his seat and rubbing his face. Leonard was about to yell at him before Spock sat down next to him.

"Then go and get something from the 'bay, damn it." Leonard snapped, not in the mood to deal with Jim's whining, regardless of whether it was real or not.

"Probably will. Hit up some hot nurses while I'm over there." Jim smirked, abandoning his food and leaving. He really was an ass. Leonard glared after him before looking at Spock, who was drinking his hot tea quietly.

"What's the matter, Spock?" He asked gently, putting a hand on the man's back. When he didn't answer, Leonard sighed and continued eating. He had lost his appetite, but being a doctor, he knew he should eat anyway in order to be healthy. So he did, even though he hated it. Spock barely touched his food, but Leonard could let that pass. He knew that with his hardcore metabolism, he'd be fine if he skipped a couple meals. If he didn't eat anything at all the next day, though, Leonard would probably give him the smack down.

\---

While walking to Medbay the next morning, Leonard passed by some people in a heated discussion in a hallway. "It's like the damn Vulcan doesn't even care if anyone dies, or what happens to their bodies afterwards! He's such a bitchy little-"

"Bitchy little what, Ensign?" Leonard asked angrily, rounding on them. The woman that the ensign was talking to backed off, and Leonard nodded at her. Smart move. She walked off, no doubt wanting to keep away from the encounter. The ensign scowled at him. 

"Your pointy-eared piece of shit needs to learn some respect." He said boldly, standing up tall. He was a little taller than Leonard, but not very intimidating.

"Listen. I'm a doctor, not a fighter. But if you say one more insulting thing to or about Spock, I'll put you in the hospital quicker than you can even think the word 'Vulcan'." Leonard threatened, shooting a deadly glare at the man.

"Why do you care about him? It's not like he feel-" Leonard didn't give him a chance to finish his train of thought before ramming his knee into his groin. When he groaned and bent over to grab himself, Leonard punched his temple, causing him to have a blackout. He sighed down at the body on the floor, and got him into a fireman's carry. Might as well put him in Sickbay rather than letting him wake up disoriented and angry in the hall. 

When he got to Sickbay, the nurses frantically helped the ensign onto a biobed. Leonard told them not to give him any meds, and to tell him when he woke. He then went to his office to do some work for a while. He didn't get much done, though, since the guy woke up pretty quickly.

Leonard walked up to the fuming guy, and crossed his arms. "Assaulting another crew member is a serious offense!" The ensign threatened, and Leonard snorted.

"So is xenophobia and hostility towards others." He countered, and the ensign glared back at him. "Seriously, I don't like what you gotta say about my man. So if you don't like him, just steer clear of him and keep your damn mouth shut. You wouldn't want a repeat performance, right?" 

"Hitting me in the balls was a cheap shot, Doctor." The ensign growled, struggling to sit up. Leonard only smirked. 

"If it creates the chance of you becoming infertile, then I feel that I've done my job. Now get out of my Sickbay, and I don't want to hear any more about this. And if you got anyone else involved in this, tell them to lay off Spock. If something happens and I think you might be behind it, your next physical could turn into an accidental castration. You get me?" He said, looking down his nose at the man.

"... Fine." The ensign said, and got up. He looked like he was struggling to walk out, which granted Leonard a little bit of satisfaction.

\--

Later on, when he was finished with everything and no patients were coming in with fluids streaming out of them, he meandered onto the Bridge. Spock was standing beside the Captain's Chair where Jim sat, and they were deep in conversation about whether or not they should investigate a request from admiralty before progressing on their current mission. Leonard smirked and came up to stand behind the Captain's Chair, resting his hand on the top of it, and grabbing Spock's with his other hand. Jim turned to smile at him briefly before turning back to face forward, and Spock squeezed his hand a little.

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, no sex. That is for much later in their long, eventful relationship. :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this, and if you did, please leave some kudos for my poor soul to feed on. Feedback is also very good, since I'd love to know what to improve on. 
> 
> Many more fanfictions to come from me, so please help me get better! Tell me how I did! 
> 
> Thanks again, and have a nice rest of your night.


	11. 100 Kudos Bonus Chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always post bonus chapters after every 100 kudos that a story receives.

Pain. Suffocating, hot pain. It was Leonard's life, now. The crushing weight was too much to handle, and he had to choke out his words into the darkness.

"Spock..." He groaned with a weak breath. "Get your fat ass off of me."

Spock rolled off of him, but still stayed close, wrapping an arm around him. He made some sort of noise before falling asleep again. Leonard smirked a little, picking the Vulcan's arm off him so that he could take off his shirt. The temperature was always set so high, and Spock usually ended up on top of him during the night time. It was torture.

He tossed his shirt across the room, and allowed Spock's arm to take its former place around him. He closed his eyes again, and fell asleep.

 

Spock woke up an hour before the alarm went off, which was a regular occurrence. He felt Leonard's hard abdomen beneath his palm, and slid his hand up to his scratchy face to stroke the cheekbone there. He never would have thought that he'd come to love Leonard- the odds were statistically very low.

He got out of bed and showered, ignoring the particularly hard part of his body. It had been happening increasingly often, but he opted for ignorance in this case. He didn't quite know if sexual relations were necessary in he and Leonard's relationship. After all, it had only ever been a relationship based upon communication and honesty alone.

Once he was clean and dressed, Spock exited the bathroom. He found a t-shirt on the ground, folded it, and set it with the dirty laundry. Leonard had a bad habit of leaving his things laying around, but Spock didn't necessarily mind. He walked over to where the man was sleeping, and planted a kiss on his forehead. Leonard stirred a little and opened his eyes.

"I will be leaving now, ashayam." Spock whispered, and Leonard nodded, reaching up a clammy hand and patting his cheek.

"Have fun, darlin'." Leonard replied, and rolled over. Spock nodded, even though the other man wouldn't see it, and left the room.

He ate breakfast with Jim, and they went to the Bridge together for work.

\--

Leonard spent the day inoculating several people with the latest set of viruses making their rise around the Alpha quadrant, and checking up on several other crew members. It was enough to keep him busy, so he was satisfied.

After work, he and Spock ate together before heading back to their quarters. They sat on the couch together, leaning into each other for a while. Leonard grabbed Spock's hand, wanting to make conversation but not really knowing what to say. Even though their relationship started because of their constant talking, they still had difficulty making conversation with each other. Then again, they weren't really the most talkative people in the first place.

Spock put a hand on his leg, causing Leonard to look over at him. He leaned forward and kissed him slowly, and Leonard placed his hand on the other man's chest. As their kissing heated up, Leonard slid his hand between the Vulcan's legs. Spock made a noise, and pulled away.

"Do you want me to stop?" Leonard asked, searching his face carefully. Spock grabbed his hand, and led them up and over to the bed. He laid them down, getting on top of Leonard. They kissed again, their tongues sliding together in a hot passion.

Leonard's hands worked their way under Spock's shirt, pulling it off and throwing it on the floor, and smirked at the Vulcan's face when he did so. Spock took the other man's shirt off as well, equaling the playing field, and kissing him again. Their hands explored each other's skin, touching every inch that they could, and their groins grinding together to cause moaning from the both of them.

They worked their boots, socks, and pants off before stripping away the last of their clothing. Spock climbed back on top of Leonard, grinding their whole bodies together for maximum skin-to-skin contact. They groaned into each other's mouths, and Leonard reached his hand down and wrapped his fingers around Spock's erection. Spock pulled away quickly.

"Leonard-"

"Spock-"

Leonard took his hand away, looking up at his partner. Spock's face was flushed green, and he looked hesitant. "I'll ask again, Spock. Do you want me to stop?" He asked seriously, but Spock shook his head and kissed him again. Leonard hoped he would quit being wishy-washy so that they could either do this or not, and no half way stuff.

But he wasn't complaining.

He grabbed Spock's hard member again, stroking it with varying pressures, causing the Vulcan to moan for him. Spock reciprocated the action as he sucked on Leonard's tongue, and they were both overcome with ecstasy. They pumped each other with matching speeds, bucking their hips into each other's hands, and Leonard grabbed at his ass with his free hand.

Spock used his own free hand to touch Leonard's melding points, and he joined their minds without a second thought. They felt everything that the other was feeling- every touch, every ecstatic thought, every rush of heat. It was as if they were only one being.

"Ahh, Spock," Leonard called out, breaking the kiss. "Fuck, I'm gonna..." He wrapped his legs tight around Spock, bucking his hips into the Vulcan's sensitive fist. They both went over the edge with loud moans, and their semen spilled onto each other's torsos, mixing together.

Spock laid down next to Leonard, and they continued to kiss each other for what seemed like an eternity. Spock pulled away, holding out two fingers and saying, "I cherish you, ashayam."

"I love you too, Spock." Leonard replied, running his own two fingers across Spock's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's badly written. I kept switching from this to another story. Hope you liked it though.


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